Dear Gentle Readerz:
I was thinking today, and heres the question I thought of, and subsequent title to my new self-help book/memoir I'm going to write: "How to Not Give a Shit and Still Get What You Want" :-p
But it is an interesting question... How do you relax and not become attached to and outcome, and yet still WANT something, and STRIVE for those things (goals, items, feelings, etc) that you want? Is this not what goal setting and the idea of success IS? To be attached to an outcome? So then... the question is; What is the difference between striving SO hard for something that the more you strive, the more it illudes you.. And the opposite of something, where you dedicate yourself 150% to an idea or a goal, or a desired outcome, and then you get it?
I don't have an answer to these questions. The extremes in my mind, are: "Don't care at all and it will come to you" and "Go for it with all your being, and it'll come to you".
A paradox, if you ask me!
In other news, I got an interview coming up with an audio post production company in Seattle! I'm excited about that. I have a lot of people to thank for is (well two, actually). I might get an internship there. Thats what I want. And tonight, I ran live sound at a local concert! It was exciting, and I minimized feedback and had my hands on the board at ALL times. :D
The live monitor engineer for Radiohead posted a FULL detailed spec of their equipment and stage set up. It's intense... For those interested, here is the blog posting. Its pretty packed with technical stuff of course, but super cool, in my opinion. Hopefully you can see that without having to have a myspace account.
Tomorrow I'm going into the city to look at a house on Greenlake. I will let you know of the possibilities when I get them....
Love to all, and sorry if I've seemed a bit emo and wrist-cutty with those last posts. But I'm not really sorry. This blog shit is good therapy sometimes! :)
okBYEBYE!!
love
-e
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2 comments:
Yay! Good luck Eric! I'm so proud of you, even if you are emo and wrist-cutty! :-) (um... you're so not.)
I've just cogitated!
One thing I wanted to say about your paradox, though, is don't forget this, and this might be what you've lost sight of. Our goals are constantly shifting, aren't they? You wanted to be a composer once, and you wanted to work for Philip Glass, didnt you? But your goalposts, your desired outcome, has changed.
If we don't allow our now and our immediate future room to morph, evolve and bear fruit that we didn't even know we liked, we'll be very unhappy indeed. If you can equate it to marriage, it's like expecting the hot girl you married to remain the same hot girl she was when you met and not allow her to develop wrinkles, change her career, or whatever. Do you catch my drift? So it's not a paradox, really, it's relaxing enough so that you go WITH the flow. WITH the flow.
Go with the flow, Eric. Use the force. Be part of the flow.
Take a step forward, and now you can see around the corner where you couldn't see before, and you discover something you weren't expecting. So you turn right to go after it instead of going the way you thought you were going to go, which was straight on and across the street. In doing so, you've just saved yourself from being run over by a big truck in the next second because you changed your mind at the last second, but you'll never know it because that sliding door has closed and you turned the corner.
Come to another corner, see what's around it. Keep walking. You know how to do it. I watched you learn.
I love you.
have you been watching the secret lol that is what it left me with when i watched it
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